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Late
Night Phone Call
My phone rang early Monday and the voice sounded real scared. “Rude Dude,” he stammers into the phone,
“Help me!”
 It’s 2:29 am and I
am blurry and confused. “Jed. Is
that
you?”
“Damn it Rude Dude, wake up and help me. I’m
stuck in jail and I need some money quick,
or I might not make it through the night.”
Now Jed is not a good friend, but we both root for the Forty
Niners so I guess I should help. But
Jed’s brain is so rotted with drink and dissolute living that whenever
he puts
it to work it behaves like an old engine that had gone haywire from
being
dipped in lard.
“What happened Jed?” I mumble.
“My dad and I were drinking and we pissed off some guy in a
bar and there was a bit of a misunderstanding. Next
thing I know I’ve been tossed into this
crappy jail cell.”
As soon as I hear this, I know there is more to the story
but hell; I guess I should figure out how to bail him out.
“So how much is your bail?” I reluctantly
inquire.
“There is no bail being set. I need the
cash to bribe my way out of jail.”
I can’t believe that there is no bail being set, they only
do that in Mexico. Then I remember, Jed and his dad went down to Mexico
City
for the Forty Niners game.
“What in the hell did you do?”
“It wasn’t me?” Jed cries out. “It was my
father.”
“Your father? What
did he do?”
Jed is now sobbing, “He ran up a very large bar tab and was
bragging how he was committed to winning and then the game started and
we
went up
by fourteen, then it turned ugly.”
“I know Jed, I watched the game.”
“Well the guy who owns the bar is mad because he is a big
time Niners fan and he figured out who we are so he gave us a bill that
was
rather large. And you know how Dad
is about his precious pennies. He saw the
bill and left me holding it with no allowance. So
the bar owner grabbed me and had the local
police chuck me in jail
until dad pays up.”
I sighed, “Sorry Jed, if Dr. John is to cheap to
pay for his bar bill, then you are stuck. Best
of luck in the MEXICO
CITY
jails!”
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October 4,
2005
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