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Hire Me for the PR
Job
Dear Dr. John York,
I hear that you are looking for a new PR person. Well, I am here
to apply. Yes, me... Rude Dude. No, I am
serious.
So what are my qualifications you ask? Well, let me think about
that for a moment.
- I like football. Hell, I love football.
- My grammar is almost o.k., well almost...
- I did win my fantasy football league last
year. Hey ya gotta brag when you bring the trophy home.
- I know that if you make more than one copy of a
video, chances are that it will be distributed.
- I have been of fan of the Forty-niners since
the 60's.
- I once caddied for John Brodie. (He gave
me a good tip, plus his daughters are HOT.)
- I think Ronnie Lott is a God. I have his
picture in my office which I pray to every day.
- I know how to contact KNBR. I have been a
team member for over seven years.
- I'm not real expensive, you could save some of
your pennies if you hired me.
- I will bring my own water to the Santa Clara
office.
- I don't mind working on Sunday, especially if I
can go to away games.
- I know your security guys, and I am positive
that they know me. Heck, at the Redskins - Niners game last
December they took about ten pictures of me. (Hey guys!)
- I know how to organize Christmas parties and
where to find toys for cheap. Remember the barrels out side of
the stadium? I saw you looking at them.
- I could show Jed around town. I do know
some bartenders. Well actually, I know a lot of bartenders.
- Did I mention that I love football?
Well that's about all of my qualifications. Oh yeah, did I tell
you I know how to attract "positive" media attention.
All the Best,
Rude Dude
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June 11, 2005
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