Niner’s latest PR angle
 
I’ve wondered on and off during this baseball season, what the much-beleaguered Niner public relations office would do about promotion of the upcoming season. It goes without saying that the all-out debacle that was the last season offers nothing by way of useful material.
 
If last season had been a newspaper, it would have been birdcage lining. If last season had been a television sitcom, it would have been cancelled long before it’s sixteen episodes aired.  If the Niners weren’t a real NFL football team (using the “real” term advisedly), last season could have wound up a pretty highly rated reality show. Upon reflection, I wished that the inner workings of last year’s front office were only bad television…then we all might have had a laugh out of it.  Thanks to Dr. York and his ilk, no such luck.
 
So I haven’t seen all of the “Faithful” commercials yet, but I’ve watched the Forrest Gregg “Do You Believe” commercial a couple of times, and it strikes me as interesting on a couple of different levels. First of all, Forrest Gregg was probably chosen because he’s old and craggy (didn’t FG always look old and craggy?) and so is supposed to pass for some advertising guy’s idea of God, deciding that whoever “believes” in the Niners of old gets to go through the tunnel.  Note the use of an Asian actor in the piece—I guess valuing diversity is back in style at Chez Niners. Very broad-minded.
 
Why isn’t Gregg quizzing Dr. York in the tunnel about whether he’s faithful? I guess we all know that answer.
 
Second, the use of footage from the glory days shows amazing nerve on the part of the Niners’ brass, who should not be allowed to go anywhere near evidence of that which they went out of their way to destroy. Of course, of course—York owns the team, so all that belongs to him. Of course he has to pay someone to market the product, but I’m willing to bet whoever who runs the footage archive at Niner Headquarters sprays the joint down with Lysol every time El Gordo or one of his Super-Secret Flunkie Squad go near the place.
 
Once again, though,it’s September, and hope is springing eternal at Rude Dude’s Dude Shack. The usual denizens will be assembling there soon, tempering our early-season optimism and yes—faith--with a healthy dose of “wait-and-see” and embarking on a new season, which hopefully will be an improvement over the last. It could only be two games worse, after all. And there’s always Martha and The Donald’s The Apprentice…
 
Posted - September 9, 2005