Scraps for the Masses

So the Dump York birthday bash at the Dump York Bunker wasn’t as happy as I had hoped.  The Forty Niners couldn’t match up to the Giants from Gotham, one of the Dump York Bunker TVs went out and John York was still in the ownership box.  I was hoping for a rousing game to fire up the local Dump Yorkers, but unfortunately it was hard to get them excited due to all of the mental mistakes, most notably coming from our Offensive Line.  So as I sat there on Sunday, drinking my beer and enjoying some tasty food, I wondered what my old buddy Jed was doing.

I figured he would be at the game, mooching off his penny pinching father up in the owners box.  Yet for Jed, not all things are free.  He told me earlier in the season that Dr. John has started charging his own family to go to games.  “Every penny counts,” is the good doctor’s motto. 

Yeah and I bet he counts them all too!  Or does he have a Vice President for that job?

I decided I should give Jed a call and see how he was doing, and what the general mood was in the owner’s box.  He answered and hung up immediately when he found out it was me.  I don’t think Jed wants Dr. John to find out that we are friends.  Not sure why…

The noise in the background sounded like one hell of a party was going on.  I guess when you are making as many pennies as the good Doctor does; there are “millions” of reasons to celebrate despite the poor performance on the field.  Champagne all around, but please use the plastic glasses.

I heard that the owner’s box has a pretty good spread up there.  From the photos I have seen, it looks like how I would imagine the old Roman Coliseum looked.  The fat emperor sitting there in his gold chair, surrounded by fawning lackeys, gorging on the finest of foods and drink and feeling all is good and right in the world. While below in the crumbling stadium, the masses get gouged on over priced cups of beer and tepid food scraps and watch a horrendous spectacle.   I wonder if those sitting below the boxes get scraps tossed to them?

The number of VPs in the box is staggering.  Last count there were six of them in Santa Clara, but everyone in the box seems to be a Vice President of something.  Jed thinks he is going to get a VP title for Christmas.  Hell, titles are cheaper than a real present, say like a winning football team.

I know that I get upset when I think of the York’s and their ownership.  What he has done to our mighty empire is a disgrace.  Now we know why many emperors met untimely deaths.